Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I Keep on Fallin

Life on the sidelines.


If you recognize what this is than you may have had an EKG. I have had more than I care to count. Sunday morning I got up at 7:30 and went to the bathroom or as I like to call it the scene of the crime. I began to feel dizzy so I started to get down when I fainted. I didn't have my cell phone and Tom was down stairs and Brynn was asleep. When I came to I was in pain. Specifically, neck and shoulder pain. I had landed on my left shoulder. I laid there for a long time, like 30 minutes. I couldn't get up so I just stayed where I was.

Eventually, Brynn walked in the room and then called Tom. Seeing my predicament, Tom called 911. The paramedics arrived and thus began the comedy of errors. One of the paramedics, we'll call him the rookie decided to step over me and in so doing kicked me in the knee. You know, the knee I shattered 18 months ago. I started to cry and when Tom asked me what was wrong the rookie said, "Uhh, I'm sorry I kicked her knee." He's sorry? No buddy, I'm sorry. Sorry that I got the freakin rookie. Next they placed a cervical collar and put me on the gurney. Rookie slid something under my head to support it but he jammed it into my head and you guessed it, it hurt. They strapped me in and proceeded to take me down the stairs. I began to slide down the board because I wasn't strapped in tight enough and I started to choke and cough and thought I might pass out again. Rookie says, "Sorry you are sliding. I guess we didn't buckle you in tight enough." I continued to choke and cough and gasp for air. So once we get into the ambulance I'm feeling better because I know I will be free of the rookie very soon. They begin to take my vital signs and blood sugar. Rookie is in charge of getting my blood pressure. I have very low blood pressure and it is very hard to get it manually. It is hard to hear. Well he is trying his best and then announces to the other paramedic that my BP is over 300. Yeah, I don't think so buddy. She tells him that due to my condition I have low blood pressure so he needs to get a child's cuff and try again. So he obeys his partner who knows what she is doing and then says, "Umm, I think it is 144?" Yeah, no. She takes over and tells him to drive. My BP was 80 over 44. Well at least he got the 44 right. So because there is no real emergency he drives slowly and carefully to the ER. Longest ride to the hospital I've ever had. I guess rookies get assigned the Sunday morning shift. I hope he doesn't seriously injure any patients.

Once I get to the ER, I get to my room and these two boys are my aids. They look the same age as my sons 20 and 22. So first they hand me the gown and since I'm a frequent flyer at the ER I know the routine but usually they tell you to put on the gown and then they leave. Nope, the helper boys are staying put. Well okay, here we go boys. After giving birth I've lost my dignity. I hope they are not scarred for life. Next comes the EKG. Again, usually this is done very modestly by carefully placing the gown and then putting 157 stickers from ankle to chest. Nope not this time. The gown is moved to my waist and I immediately have jokes flying around my mind. Like, "Hey do I get any beads for this?" or "This is like girls gone wi!d in the ER." I bite my tongue because they are young and I don't want to freak them out. This is hard for me. One of the boys is also a rookie so he is being trained how to do an EKG. Glad I can help.

Blah, blah, blah, blood tests, x-rays ya da ya da. I sprained my ankle and messed up my shoulder. Thankfully nothing is broken. The Dr in the ER knows me, she did a central line on me once, she said, "You need to live in a rubber room." Truer words have never been spoken as I am living my life on the edge of sanity. I am back in a wheelchair until I can walk and my shoulder heals. My ankle feels much better today. I have hope that I can soon put full weight on it.

The back story is that I spent Mother's Day in the ER because of another faint followed by one more the next day. My neuro is adjusting my meds and I am not tolerating the increase. I took myself back down to the original dose but I've been told that this drug takes 6-8 weeks to leave your system. I am sick of Dr's, hospitals, side effects of meds, and chronic illness. So I will lay low for awhile and I am looking into an outfit like this.


I look good in blue.

27 comments:

Liz said...

You look very aristocratic sitting in that wheelchair. I think you need one of those beepers that you wear for when you've 'fallen and can't get up'. Something to alert Tom to your predicament!
Sorry to hear about the 'rookie'.
I had a rookie once who dropped me on the floor trying to move me from a gurney to a bed after one of my babies. I had an epidural and my legs were still numb. You are endlessly patient, I would not have been.
Is your elevator big enough for a wheelchair? Wish I could be there to help out. I'm sending hugs your way!! Get better soon!!

Kim W said...

I think the uniform is a perfect solution. I'm so sorry for this bump in your medication road. I love how doctors experiment with amounts while our bodies are going through heck! I hope the shoulder and ankle heal quickly!

Robin said...

that picture of you in the chair is awesome. I agree with Liz that you look aristocratic. I think you could really work the helmet and shoulder pads.

I think you have an exceptionally fantastic attitude. I admire you. You almost make this sound like a fun adventure.

♥Shally said...

You are awesome.

No one can rock a wheelchair like you do!!

I hope you heal quickly.

the wrath of khandrea said...

your other friends are nicer when they make comments on you in the wheelchair picture. i was thinking you looked more like you should have a tin cup in hand and a "will beg for food" sign on your lap.

comedy of errors. truer words were never spoken. good grief, lady.
at least you still have your unflinching sense of humor.

ferntyler said...

I love your titles of posts, but sure wish the content didn't include so much pain!

Annemarie said...

I sit somewhere in the middle of the wheelchair pic.
Half arsitocratic...half just sad. Your hair does look really good, though.

+L said...

oh diane! you are such a trooper to endure all of this with a sense of humor. what an inspiration! and your hair does, in fact, totally rock in the wheelchair pic. you may have fallen, but you still look fabulous.

Lisa-Marie said...

Oh, Diane. Seriously, when are you going to get a break? As in a rest from all of this. NOT a broken something!

I'm so sorry.

Maree said...

Yeah, you need a break--and not a body part broken! Do you ever look Heavenward and say, "Seriously, isn't there someone ELSE?" I'm sorry to hear about your latest adventure. I'm glad you maintain your sense of humor. Need any lunch dates?

Christie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Christina Bambina said...

I have no words.... just a few, like

I love you.

Xoxo

Christina

Kara Jayne said...

I totally wish you would've popped off about the beads to the boys. That would've been priceless. Keep your chin up my friend

queenieweenie said...

Oh Diane...I am SO sorry!!! What a bummer to have "care" given by someone so careless-or at least inexperienced.

Have they been able to figure anything out? I think we both need to call Dr. Oz or something.

Loves to you.

tawnya said...

This was still good - the written version!

Thanks for the chat yesterday. Made my week. Always nice to have a "no, not everyone thinks I'm evil" reality check!

calibosmom said...

Now if they could just make wheelchairs with a brushed copper finish and Burberry fabric...get better soon!

Lauren in GA said...

Those Rookies deserve to be horse whipped...especially the one that came to your house.

I am so sorry. I really, and truly am.

Paige said...

I thought about this post all night and felt horrible for you. So I had to get up and comment and tell you I am thinking of you and I hope you are having yourself a nice pity party. Honestly I am praying for you.

Paige said...

AND I think you need to wear one of those "I've fallen and I can't get up buttons." You could bedazzle it.

Tristan said...

I'm so glad that you can find humor in these situation! Ya gotta have humor or you just can't survive it!

Oh I'm so sorry though! Sorry bout it all! I really hope you heel quickly!

Jenibelle said...

You can't wear equipment that weighs more than you, so that's out. I'm thinking a making a balloon suit for you, one that is instantly inflatable in case of a loss in 'cabin pressure', sort of like a car's airbag. Wouldn't that be awesome?!?

Ilene said...

Oh, that picture is sad looking. I am sending a dedication of the primary song, "I'll Walk with You" your way.

"If you don't walk as most people do, some people walk away from you, but I won't! I won't!"

See how handy my calling as primary chorister is?

The Family Johnson said...

you could totally rock that jersey!!!! I am so sorry for youe episodes. I also HATE rookie Drs. I mean I know they have to learn, but seriously the poor patients just get abused. It is sad.

Shannan said...

You don't look too happy to be in that wheelchair -but your haircut is awesome, if anything else. Thanks for the headsup on Walmart. I'm forbidden to shop there since my bread is buttered courtesy of Costco (my husband works there). I sometimes sneak into Wall-E's and I honestly cannot believe some of the people that shop there - esp in Salem, OR.

Kimberly said...

Oh, Diane! I'm way behing on my reader and am just getting caught up so I apologize for the late comment. I'm so sorry about all this! I'm glad you have a sense of humor. Rubber room- funny. You are rocking that wheelchair lady! Get better and no more :)

Jenna said...

Holy freakin cow! You have been through the wringer since I met you a year ago at Blogapalooza. I will have to follow your blog more closely and keep and eye on you.

You're a sneaky little sucker.

Sally said...

:(

You are just amazing. You have such a good attitude.