I Keep on Fallin

Life on the sidelines.

If you recognize what this is than you may have had an EKG. I have had more than I care to count. Sunday morning I got up at 7:30 and went to the bathroom or as I like to call it the scene of the crime. I began to feel dizzy so I started to get down when I fainted. I didn't have my cell phone and Tom was down stairs and Brynn was asleep. When I came to I was in pain. Specifically, neck and shoulder pain. I had landed on my left shoulder. I laid there for a long time, like 30 minutes. I couldn't get up so I just stayed where I was.

Eventually, Brynn walked in the room and then called Tom. Seeing my predicament, Tom called 911. The paramedics arrived and thus began the comedy of errors. One of the paramedics, we'll call him the rookie decided to step over me and in so doing kicked me in the knee. You know, the knee I shattered 18 months ago. I started to cry and when Tom asked me what was wrong the rookie said, "Uhh, I'm sorry I kicked her knee." He's sorry? No buddy, I'm sorry. Sorry that I got the freakin rookie. Next they placed a cervical collar and put me on the gurney. Rookie slid something under my head to support it but he jammed it into my head and you guessed it, it hurt. They strapped me in and proceeded to take me down the stairs. I began to slide down the board because I wasn't strapped in tight enough and I started to choke and cough and thought I might pass out again. Rookie says, "Sorry you are sliding. I guess we didn't buckle you in tight enough." I continued to choke and cough and gasp for air. So once we get into the ambulance I'm feeling better because I know I will be free of the rookie very soon. They begin to take my vital signs and blood sugar. Rookie is in charge of getting my blood pressure. I have very low blood pressure and it is very hard to get it manually. It is hard to hear. Well he is trying his best and then announces to the other paramedic that my BP is over 300. Yeah, I don't think so buddy. She tells him that due to my condition I have low blood pressure so he needs to get a child's cuff and try again. So he obeys his partner who knows what she is doing and then says, "Umm, I think it is 144?" Yeah, no. She takes over and tells him to drive. My BP was 80 over 44. Well at least he got the 44 right. So because there is no real emergency he drives slowly and carefully to the ER. Longest ride to the hospital I've ever had. I guess rookies get assigned the Sunday morning shift. I hope he doesn't seriously injure any patients.

Once I get to the ER, I get to my room and these two boys are my aids. They look the same age as my sons 20 and 22. So first they hand me the gown and since I'm a frequent flyer at the ER I know the routine but usually they tell you to put on the gown and then they leave. Nope, the helper boys are staying put. Well okay, here we go boys. After giving birth I've lost my dignity. I hope they are not scarred for life. Next comes the EKG. Again, usually this is done very modestly by carefully placing the gown and then putting 157 stickers from ankle to chest. Nope not this time. The gown is moved to my waist and I immediately have jokes flying around my mind. Like, "Hey do I get any beads for this?" or "This is like girls gone wi!d in the ER." I bite my tongue because they are young and I don't want to freak them out. This is hard for me. One of the boys is also a rookie so he is being trained how to do an EKG. Glad I can help.

Blah, blah, blah, blood tests, x-rays ya da ya da. I sprained my ankle and messed up my shoulder. Thankfully nothing is broken. The Dr in the ER knows me, she did a central line on me once, she said, "You need to live in a rubber room." Truer words have never been spoken as I am living my life on the edge of sanity. I am back in a wheelchair until I can walk and my shoulder heals. My ankle feels much better today. I have hope that I can soon put full weight on it.

The back story is that I spent Mother's Day in the ER because of another faint followed by one more the next day. My neuro is adjusting my meds and I am not tolerating the increase. I took myself back down to the original dose but I've been told that this drug takes 6-8 weeks to leave your system. I am sick of Dr's, hospitals, side effects of meds, and chronic illness. So I will lay low for awhile and I am looking into an outfit like this.

I look good in blue.